Did I make the right decision? Should I have stayed for the kids? Will divorce ruin my children’s lives? Am I failing as a mother? These are the questions I would ask myself weekly or even daily sometimes. Things would be going great and then I would have a bad day with the girls and boom! I suddenly went down the rabbit hole of divorced mom guilt.
I think all moms have some form of guilt, but as a divorced mom, it can be even more complex. You are trying to heal from the divorce while still being a mother. Also, you know what it was like to have full-time help and now you know what it feels like not to have daily help. It’s FLIPPIN hard!
You start to feel like you’re not enough or that you’re not capable of doing this alone. You have guilt about having to work long hours and not spending as much time with the kids as you’d like. You wish you could give your kids everything that their friends have in two-parent households like going on lavish vacations regularly and a big house, and because of this nagging guilt, you are probably overcompensating in some way.
It’s inevitable that these thoughts will creep into your mind from time to time, but when they do, you must immediately recognize the negative self-talk and change your mindset. Would you talk to your best friend like that? Probably not.
After several years now of braving this thing called motherhood alone, I can say I have some control over my divorced mom guilt. My kids are thriving, they are doing well in school and they are happy. Some things that helped me overcome divorced mom guilt are:
Practice being kind to yourself.
Remember, you are doing this alone and you’re doing the best you can.
Acknowledge that you are probably not failing as bad in the mommy department as much as you think.
Do not forget that you have overcome some incredible challenges.
And lastly, you are the Queen of your Queendom and the empire would fail without you! 👑
I am a big believer in self-development and encourage other mothers to do the same. Here are some great book resources.
- For turning negative self-talk into positive talk, What to Say When You Talk to Your self, by Shad Helmstetter
- For the Mompreneurs out there: Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving your Goals, by Rachel Hollis
- For those dealing with the fear of being alone, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courgage to Stand Alone, by Brene Brown, PhD.
- For those who need a little faith, the Bible. My favorite scriptures, Proverbs 3:5-6 and Philippians 4:13.
How are you coping with divorced mom guilt? Share your story below.
Health and happiness. . .
When I was younger, I never wore gym shoes. I always wore heels or boots even with my jeans. I was that girl 😆 Fast forward to 2019, if you were to see me in the grocery store, I probably will have on athletic gear with a baseball cap . My schedule is so crazy nowadays, I just want to be comfortable. All I really need is for my lashes to be done and for my nails to look fabulous, right?
This year’s colors are absolutely stunning. According to the experts, there will be lots of sparkly champagnes and neutrals, warm browns, orange hues like terracotta, buttery yellow cremes like autumn leaves, and my personal favorite, metallic green to deep greens. I wear a lot of brands, but I am a big fan of Essie. Prices are reasonable, I can find it at my favorite off-brand retailers and they have really cool colors.
My favorites from Essie’s Sweater Weather limited Edition Collection.
On the Bright Cider
This is from Essie Sweater Weather Limited Edition. On the Bright Cider, hurry! As of the time of this post, most of this line has already sold out.
This color is called Seeing Stars. It looks a lot like Rust Worthy from Essie’s Sweater Weather Limited Edition. Since they were sold out, I thought this color was a good alternative.
Hay There, just beautiful!
So a little trick of mine is to use press-on nails. They have some amazing colors and for me they have lasted up to five days. Just add a little glue. When I need to go in the office and get busy editing, I just pop them off. Find the look here.
imPress Press-On Manicure, get a similar look here. Oh, and check out my new camera guys! Isn’t it pretty?
A lot of creamy grays this year. I had to snap a picture of my sister’s hand. That’s what family is for, right? 😂
What’s your favorite fall nail color this year?
Health and happiness. . .
I am out here on a Sunday early morning grilling for my girls. Boy, is it cold in the Chi! Feels more like winter than a fall day with all this blustering wind but the Chicago hawk will not stop me from trying out this new recipe.
One of the first gifts I bought myself after my separation was a Traeger grill. Pretty pricey but worth it. You can cook just about anything on a Traeger grill. You can make this on a traditional charcoal grill, too. Just make sure you control the temperature.
Today I am making pulled pork, um-hmm. I am not usually a pork eater, a little Oscar Mayer bacon here or there, but one of my favorite mantras is everything in moderation and I really try and live my life according to this by not denying myself of anything, even if it’s just a small bite. So today I am going to indulge, honey!
The links in this post contain affiliate links and I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase after clicking on my link. But I only recommend things I love.😊
Nothing too fancy for the rub. All the stars.
A pork shoulder bone-in butt roast . Cost, $7.71 for 9 lb. I forgot to cut the fat off, but trim off all the white fat shown here.
It came out so tender and seasoned to perfection. No need for barbecue sauce!
Did you make this Recipe?
Tag @mommyanew on Instagram and hashtag it #mommyanew
What’s your favorite way to cook pulled pork? Comment below!
How I end every post, health and happiness. . . 😊
- 9 lb bone-in pork shoulder
- Dry Rub:
- 2 tablespoons Garlic
- 1/2 cup Paprika
- 1/3 cup Salt
- 1/8 Ground Pepper
- 1/4 cup Brown Sugar
- Set grill temperature to 250 degrees.
- Cut off excess fat on shoulder. Generously apply seasoning rub.
- Oil grill grates and place pork butt directly on the grates.
- Cook for four hours. Then remove pork from grates.
- Tear four pieces of large aluminum foil and stack on top of each other. Foil pieces should be large enough to wrap around the whole shoulder butt.
- Put the pork in the middle of the foil and pour apple cider vinegar over the pork shoulder butt. Wrap foil over pork. Cider should not seep out.
- Cook for another hour to two hours.
- Remove meat from grill and let pork sit for one hour.
- Remove foil and pour excess liquid in a separate container.
- Place pork in large enough container to shred and tear meat apart. Remove bones and excess fat. Pour the separated excess liquid into the container with pork. Add barbeque sauce if desired. (optional)
Hello October! I am hoping we get a fall season this year. In Chicago, the weather has become so unpredictable. The average temperature in the fall can range from 70° Fahrenheit to mid-40° Fahrenheit. So, you may only have about four weeks before winter sets in. Read More “8 Family Fall Events Around Chicago”