Although I am in a great and heathy place now, I found it extremely difficult in the past to find people to vent to and talk to about my divorce and transition. I believe my family and friends meant well, but they didn’t get it, truly get it. And that’s okay! It’s not their journey to get.
I didn’t need sympathy or woe is me. I needed my dignity. You yearn for a listening ear and supportive, encouraging words. Divorce means change. Your future is unknown and what you are walking into is uncertain. What do I do next? What if? Will I ever find love again?
I get the struggle of keeping a marriage together, a family together, being a career woman and then it all starts to fall apart. It’s a painful, painful thing to go through. There’s no way to rush through the pain. You just gotta go through it and you need friends and family around to support you. Salt
That’s why I chuckled and cried when I recently saw this video of Episode 8 of Ladies’ Night featuring Cheryl from Salt-N-Pepa and CoKo from SWV. At the latter part of the episode, Coko has a breakdown over impending divorce papers. All of the ladies leave the room except for Salt when Coko starts to vent about her divorce. Salt felt like she could relate because of her past divorce and stayed and comforted Coko. These are famous, successful women struggling with the same issues that ordinary women struggle with. I could not have expressed myself better than these ladies did.
I used to wake up in the middle of the night, like, shaking. It was sadness but it was a lot of fear. Salt
Photography: Elvis Piedra Studios
Divorced moms really are a community! When I meet women in similar backgrounds, I just want to hug them and tell them to have faith. Ask for strength and it will be given. It takes inner strength to coparent with your ex and meet and have dinner with the new girlfriend, maybe even your kids’ stepmother. Guess what? It gets better and it will be no biggie! Embrace being a mommy-anew and blaze your own path. 🔥
Health and happiness. . .
What other things do you think divorced mommies have in common? Let me know in the comments below.
image courtesy of unsplash